Rock is dead

Touring has become a haven of prohibition and rules and we are all to blame for it, fellow touring musicians and concert goers. With a scary percentage of musicians trying to replicate their domestic/borgeouis lifestyle on tour, things have become almost scary with the advent of the pisswinklers (yeah, Germans wants the alpha world to sit down while pissing, otherwise we’re anti-social), there are allergies and conditions invented by the minute, whose symptoms strangely becoming afflictions to whatever turns the other guy on.

Everybody that tours likes either one of these two things: to keep on touring, non-stop, jumping from tourbus to tourbus, plane to plane, never letting time catch up. If they are too much at home, they get angry, roadsick, useless and ultimately bored. When time is up, you have to put the beast again inside the rolling cage and in the dressing room dungeons. Like rare flowers, they breed in the dark and in the ugly and smile as they eat miles without blinking. Some of our crew are like this, Goth bless them, always ready for the turmoil. Others, like me, like to tour, tour, tour and then stay at home enjoying the routine of my kid’s breakfast and cartoons, take a walk with him out in the Sun, read from my small but proud library, go to a café where they know your name and what you will have for lunch. I live between the necessary pain of touring (totally balanced by the sheer experience of myself I get to enjoy while performing); and the absolute loving condition of a routine where I can help my family being safe and my son to grow into the perfect being he is. This dilemma, the feet on both side of the shores, the permanent stretching, expansion if you want, is what might make the difference for me and for the person I helped bringing into this sick world.

There is still another thing that I ask from touring: some freedom to have a smoke, to be up all night listening loudly to Morbid Angel, talk shit with my brothers, crack some jokes, do stupid stuff, get butt naked in the back lounge. You know. Clean, innocent, boys will be boys fun. But if we keep on trying to have our home, our way, we will kill that spirit, that secret bound that made us all smile in silence when some mischief was happening in the back. The thick, weedy smoke cloud weighing low, below the lamps, like a sign in the fog for lost travellers. All that is gone, the world got higienic. We killed the germs and with them, our imperfections. We were tamed.

Add that to my stupefacted discovery that red wine could be Vegan, to the keep it quiet and tidy, winter Olimpics on TV instead of sexolyimpics, I start to miss the black metal chaos of WWII, indian limb-eating rituals videos and the general mess of the Marduk tour. I have to say that Texas and the weed cloud hoovering over the now appropriatedly named green room and the Arizona blasé attitude over smoking and drinking were much appreciated. To sum it up: we don’t get away with what we used to get away with. And I do not like it.

I am in Denver, Colorado today so all will be groovy. I just invented a new play that I am dying to test with my wife and kid when i get back home. That made my day. The rest is yet to come.We just hope we can give Rock a beautiful funeral. Every night.



3 thoughts on “Rock is dead

  1. santiagovilla

    Thank you for this honest description of touring and of life behind the wall of fame, Fernando. It was a very interesting read. I’m enjoying a lot this blog. This is my favorite entry so far. Just had to let you know. With much respect for your writing and a deep love for your music. Santiago Villa (Bogotá)

  2. Reza Takhshid

    Dear Fernando,
    I’ve always enjoyed reading your stuff. But this one, appeals to me in so many ways; I feel the need to share them with you.

    It was 10 years ago which I got to see, first hand, what goes on behind the scene. The backstage, the tour bus. You guys with your hospitality and kindness took me in, right into the belly of the beast! Back then I was young, living alone, in the U.S. with all its promises. Coming from Iran, even to hold an original CD in my hands was sacred, let alone carrying from backstage to the tour bus, the gig back of my idles. Back then if I read such words from you a frown was in order. No doubt. But today, A married man, with an album to be released in a month or two, following things from my my 14″ window to the world. I now understand. To me all the glory of a world tour would not compare to a simple evening spent with my wife, and I don’t even have a kid yet. I’m not saying I don’t long for roaring crowds and getting to see the world, but well you already know what I mean.

    Anyhow, I have much to say and I want to keep it short so you would read through it. lets see how I could manage that, I’m already making no sense.

    Back to the ways I fell for this post. First, its where you wrote it, Denver! Second, It’s been months with I struggle between leaving music to be a part time hobby for me, or just close the book on everything else and give it all I have. (of course I know my place and I’m comparing myself to you, the vocalist of a worldwide band. everything for me is a fraction of the real thing but the general feeling behind it is still there) Third, I believe in inner human connections, and I felt that with you, not in a nerdy or gay way!! and reading this post really shook me!

    I keep doubting I have misunderstood something and I’m just embarrassing my self so I end this more post that a comment thing with a short anecdote.

    Backstage, you and Pedro are on the couch. I’m standing with my back to you and mike’s asking me Iran. I’m trying to explain to him about “this drug which is brown” then from behind me you tell me it’s opium. now how embarrassing it would be for a fan to be talking about something he doesn’t know it’s opium and Opium is one of his favorite songs and the man who made Opium, the song, be what it was in the fan’s mind is telling him what you are talking about is actually opium! So, I just pretended I didn’t hear you and kept talking with mike!!!

    Well that’s all!

    Take good care and say hello to both your family and the guys!


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